i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize