cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize