hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize