btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You can't special order awesome
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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