I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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