Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
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a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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