how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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