i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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