escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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