Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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