Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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