Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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