Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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