i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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