so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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