Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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