If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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