I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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