I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize