dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize