grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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