How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize