He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize