My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
