I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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