she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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