Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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