is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize