Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize