There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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