I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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