I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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