I'm really into asian looking animals
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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