And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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