guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize