He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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