Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize