you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize