all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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