Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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