Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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