Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
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Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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