it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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