The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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