If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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