she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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