haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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