eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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