I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize