He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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