Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
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She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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